Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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