Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(860): View more from Connecticut

I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist

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(650): View more from California

i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.

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(860): View more from Connecticut

failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.

(1-403): View more from Alberta, CA

I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.

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(847): View more from Illinois

Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"

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(317): View more from Indiana

He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??

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(317): View more from Indiana

Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"

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