My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
