apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
should my penis look like a turkey
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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