batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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