rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
