just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
