I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize