I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
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