my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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