the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
