some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
