I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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