No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize