You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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