I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
