Where is the hickey?
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize