I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
