4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
