his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
