Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
