Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
is that a dick in a sweater?
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
