she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
