Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Randomize