she was so not down for the gang bang
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I think your dad took our porno
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize