He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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