girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
