What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
