You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Let's get the cat blown out
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
