Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
