I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize