Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
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Our room will be decorated with my urine.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
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Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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