This girl is more easily done than said...
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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