I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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