We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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