He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
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The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
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She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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