you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
