yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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