They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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