I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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