Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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