Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
