So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
