vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
