And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
