He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
