please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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