I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
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