Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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