Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Randomize