Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
