Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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