i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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