its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Randomize
