I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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