Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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