but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
