He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Randomize
