Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
