Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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